Widen Your Vocabulary: Putting Matters Delicately

Personally, I like to be upfront and direct. But, occasionally, people feel the need to put politely and delicately matters that could — in the wrong company — be impolite or too sensitive to talk bluntly about. Here are some prim and proper ways of describing some delicate subjects.

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bathycolpian, adjective, deep-bosomed — eg, Troy was surprised at seeing all the bathycolpian women at a Catholic mass.

borborygm, noun, a rumbling or gurgling noise produced by wind in the bowels — eg, When trapped in the lift with Wendy, Troy wasn't sure what to be more frightened of: Wendy's amorous looks or the loud borborygms.

bromidrosis, noun, body odour — eg, Fortunately, Wendy's advances were deflected when Wendy noticed Troy's bromidrosis.

compotation, noun, a drinking-bout — eg, When asked where she was going with Andrew, Jess replied innocently: "Just to a compotation".

effluvium, noun, a noxious or disgusting exhalation or odour — eg, The effluvium caused by Troy's bromidrosis saved him from Wendy; but it wasn't enough to rescue him from the bathycolpian Catholic women.

encopresis, noun, unintentional defecation — eg, Troy couldn't help it. As the bathycolpian women advanced, borborygms started, and before he knew it, encopresis was the result.

eructation, noun, the action of voiding wind from the stomach through the mouth; belching — eg, After their compotation, Jess and Andrew had a competition for the loudest eructations.

obsolagnium, noun, waning sexual desire due to age — eg, The only saving grace about Troy's living at home with his elderly parents is his parents' obsolagnium.

paizogony, noun, necking; snogging; love play — eg, When Catherine asked Troy to attend the love play at the drive-in cinema, Troy was expecting to see Romeo and Juliet, not all the paizogony.

proctalgia, noun, a pain in the bum — eg, That proctalgia follows paizogony (in this list) is purely coincidental.

rhonchisonant, adjective, sounds like snoring or snorting — eg, When Troy laughs too hard, he sometimes sounds rhonchisonant.

thersitical, adjective, loud, abusive, foul-mouthed — eg, When she goes to the football, Catherine sometimes must endure the company of a particularly thersitical Bulldogs' fan.

ventoseness, noun, windiness, flatulence — eg, Ben enjoys nothing more than a good ventoseness joke.


Peter Bowler, The Superior Person's Second Book of Weird and Wondrous Words (2003)

Oxford English Dictionary Online

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Last modified on Tuesday, 17 November 2015 10:00
English Language Skills (Troy)

English Language Skills (Troy)

I have a law degree, I've run an award-winning business, and I am a published author.

My most popular book is Funny English Errors and Insights: Illustrated.

My new book is The Funny Dictionary.

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